God has put an innate desire within me to create. It's got to be part of my imago Dei (created in the image of God). God is the ultimate Creator, the only One to absolutely create, literally from scratch. It must be why it is so fulfilling to complete a meal, having cooked it from scratch (even though it takes hours longer). It must be where the fulfillment comes from in finishing a painting or poem when all you previously had was a blank white canvas. It has to be where the satisfaction originates when a sermon, story, book, or blog post marks its final period, when all that originated was a blinking cursor. God spoke everything into existence with words. It's a beautiful and fulfilling thing to be able to paint pictures, with words or paint, on a plate or canvas, audible or edible. It's fulfilling to create. I believe when we create, we can please our creative Creator, and as His masterpieces hear, see, taste, and feel our masterpieces, He must receive glory.
You can be forgiven and made right with God. He loves you and gave Himself for you.
Let me know how I can pray for you!